Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
Shaved legs,
blown glass cracked on the edges
headache handouts
two for the price of one
sell away all our liberties
and let them speak for us.

Play out the wrong card
the captain salutes a sinking ship
and a hurricane winks at the corner of our eye
pulled in a whirlpool.

Tornadoes suck themselves in
paradox in a pillowcase
and you wonder what's keeping you up all night
(no, I can't sleep, either)
the monster under your bed
or the monster laying there
inside your mind all the time
and making your hairs stand on the ends.

Life playing on repeat
sinks clogged with secrets too painful to keep
so hard to settle and slow down
rushing head, losing pace
merciless when you beg to finally collapse.

Shave the ashes from your legs
you're fragile like glass
so easily blown and shaped
so easily swallowed and cracked
(and it's not just the edges this time).
It barks at no-one else but me
like it's seen a ghost
I guess it's seen the sparks a-glowin
no-one else would know
hey man, slow down, slow down
idiot, slow down, slow down


Editsss: Holy crap, thank you so much for the DD! -dies-
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2007-08-19
The Tourist by ~breakthatfall is a fast-paced poem with a slight overtone of panic. ( Suggested by WineWriter and Featured by PoeticWar )
:iconisabellamichel:
IsabellaMichel Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008  Student Writer
O_____o wow.....
Reply
:iconmirir:
MiriR Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2007
this is gorgeous.
i am amazed.
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2007  Student General Artist
Thank you.
Reply
:icontimmymobile:
TimmyMobile Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2007
A wonderous piece! Congrats for the DD, :+fav: and :+devwatch:!
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2007  Student General Artist
Thanks very much! :heart:
Reply
:iconlescheveux:
LesCheveux Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2007
Congrats on the DD :)
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2007  Student General Artist
Thanks. I can hardly believe it myself. :heart:
Reply
:iconsd-stock:
sd-stock Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Hobbyist Photographer
I am so in love with the last stanza. It is perfect.
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2007  Student General Artist
=D thanks!
Reply
:iconcitizen-13:
citizen-13 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
YOU HAVE A DAILY DEVIATION!


:hug:
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2007  Student General Artist
:boogie:
Reply
:iconkuzunari:
Kuzunari Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
ahh your words hold me, this was great, i feel like u wrote this poem just for me ^_^
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2007  Student General Artist
oh but I did! hahaha thanks.
Reply
:iconmisaokiley:
misaokiley Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
That's really awesome! Love the poem. It has a masculine feel to it. Straightforward, but not really. Love it!
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2007  Student General Artist
Thanks very much. =)
Reply
:iconartemis-meliticia:
Artemis-Meliticia Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
....This is just plain awesome...if there were any other words, I'd use them, but at the moment, my mind has been blown away and I gotta go recover it. xD
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
heh. =)
Thank you...I can't think of anything, either. xD
Reply
:iconsunshineconversation:
geeeeenius!
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
:hug: ahaha I don't know about that =D
thank you
Reply
:iconrunnrabbitrunn:
RUNNrabbitRUNN Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
impressive work. i am humbled surely!
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
:heart:=)
Reply
:iconrunnrabbitrunn:
RUNNrabbitRUNN Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
:D
Reply
:iconcarpevita:
CarpeVita Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
Great poem. Love the pacing. And congrats on the DD! =D
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
Thank you very much! :blowkiss:
Reply
:iconcarpevita:
CarpeVita Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
No problem! :blush:
Reply
:iconfavoritedamndisease:
FavoriteDamnDisease Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007   Writer
Interesting... I will be by to read more. The imagery is what has caught my attention overall. I'm glad I cam across this!

~Kris~
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
I appreciate the feedback. =)
Reply
:iconjoonks:
joonks Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
nice job. i love how you drew inspiration from one of the greatest songs ever and made something completely new. congratulations on the DD. well deserved.
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
=) it is an amazing song.

Thank you very much! :heart:
Reply
:iconjoonks:
joonks Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
you're welcome, love.
radiohead, ftw. :giggle:
Reply
:icondesalete:
desalete Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Professional Artist
I like this. It sounds like something Matthew Good (my *favourite* musician) might write.
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
I've never heard of Matthew Good, I'll be sure to look him up.
Reply
:iconbloodyteardrop08:
bloodyteardrop08 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
I feel like I can relate to this but at the same time I'm not sure what I'm relating... What a strange feeling. A wonderful (intriguing) read.
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
heh, the goal of every type of artist: to make people feel something they've never felt before.

=) thank you.
Reply
:iconbloodyteardrop08:
bloodyteardrop08 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
No problem. Good work deserves comments. :D
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
:blushes:
Well, I appreciate every single one given. =D
Reply
:icondreamssetonmute:
DreamsSetOnMute Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
~you're fragile like glass
so easily blown and shaped
so easily swallowed and cracked
(and it's not just the edges this time).~

You're a genius :+fav:
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
:blush:
thank you
Reply
:iconkildgeek:
KildGeek Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
Evokes feelings in a fast, intense rhythm. The lines are perfectly cut out. :)

"Shave the ashes from your legs" - I love this line.
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
Thank you very much. =D
Reply
:iconlittlexblackxflower:
LittleXBlackXFlower Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
OHMYGOD YOU GOT A DD!!! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
=D ahaa thankyous.

-falls flat on face-
Reply
:iconlittlexblackxflower:
LittleXBlackXFlower Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007
lol
Reply
:iconamberlouie:
Amberlouie Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Professional Writer
Did you do a type for "moster"

Otherwise, what a lovely piece! Congrads on the DD!
:D
Reply
:iconbreakthatfall:
breakthatfall Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Student General Artist
lmao, thanks for catching that -edits-
Reply
:iconamberlouie:
Amberlouie Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Professional Writer
welcome, I actually thought it was like... some sort of word that I had never seen before. :D
Reply
:iconamberlouie:
Amberlouie Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Professional Writer
typo*
Reply
:iconpoeticwar:
PoeticWar Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007   Writer
lolol

;p
Reply
:iconamberlouie:
Amberlouie Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007  Professional Writer
silly.
Reply
:iconangelkitteh:
Angelkitteh Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2007   Photographer
Sometimes I get overcharged. That's when you see sparks!

Anyhow, I like this, and I suck at critique, so I'll leave it at that. Congrats on the DD!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconbreakthatfall: More from breakthatfall


Featured in Collections

DD's of 2007 by krissimonsta

literature. by the-chemical-factory

Things to Read by animefan4eva419


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
August 13, 2007
File Size
1.1 KB
Thumb

Stats

Views
3,275 (1 today)
Favourites
71 (who?)
Comments
71
×